Weather Report

Well, today I expected to be regaling you with tales of our trip out to one of the small islands that are dotted around Mauritius. This particular island (I can’t remember the name of it) has a pure white sandy beach, dotted with palm trees and looks like it is straight out of a Bacardi advert.

Rather than a speedboat – like earlier – this time we were to take a more leisurely trip, by catamaran.

Mrs M and I dragged ourselves out of bed this morning at 6.30, so we’d have time for some breakfast before departing, only to find that the excursion has been cancelled due to a category 2 cyclone .

A cyclone! Wow!

The nearest I have ever been to a cyclone, is vacuuming the carpet with our Dyson.

It’s currently 9am, local time, as I sit here on our balcony, typing this up. It’s hot and humid and the sun is beating down… as can be seen in the rather rubbish photo at the top of this post, that I have just taken.

It certainly isn’t looking like cyclone weather at the moment, but if we get evacuated (which could happen if it gets updated to a category 3, apparently), I shall let you know. 😊

+++UPDATE +++

It’s 22:00 local time and we have just found out that our flight has been brought forward  12 hours and we now need to leave here early in the morning.  Best get packing!

Flashmob

Flashmobs were all the rage some years ago, but you don’t see so many of them nowadays. Another fleeting fad, maybe.

But it’s a fad that I quite enjoyed… whilst it lasted.

Much to my annoyance, I’ve never been in a flashmob. There’s a good reason for this: all the ones I have seen, involve having the ability to dance, or to sing, or to play a musical instrument. I am sadly lacking in every single one of those departments.

And, I’ve never even seen one, which again, is quite annoying.

There are plenty to watch on that YouTube thing though and I’ve enjoyed most of them, I think.

But this is my new favourite.

Should I ever get married again, this is definitely happening.

It Was A Riot

I didn’t mind doing football duty, as there was usually some excitement to help the afternoon pass by. We would often have to escort visiting fans from the train station, walking the mile or so to the ground and then back again after the match had ended. Of course, the bulk of these fans were well behaved: fathers and sons, husbands and wives, all proper football enthusiasts. But some of them were just idiots, who had come along for the chance to cause some bother.

Back in the eighties, Millwall’s fans had a reputation for just that and we were all pretty nervous about them coming to the town for an FA Cup match. We expected them to be trouble.

They didn’t let us down.

Patrolling the streets before the game, in groups of three or four, I remember my colleague suddenly falling to the floor right next to me. He ‘d been hit on the head by half a brick that had been lobbed from a group of Millwall fans standing outside a pub, drinking beer. There were four of us (now down to three) and about twenty of them, all jeering at us, so there was little we could do except drag our unconscious colleague round the corner and out of the way whilst we waited for backup.   By the time it arrived, they had all disappeared.

My job was to patrol the streets during the game (along with many others – I wasn’t on my own!) to provide a level of law enforcement outside whilst the majority of the force were inside the stadium. But trouble started inside and the police were losing the battle, so we were redirected into the ground to help.

I arrived just as the second half was starting and was told to stand on the edge of the pitch with my back to the Millwall crowd along with a couple of dozen other coppers.  I’ll readily admit that I was pretty scared. We stood there – a very thin blue line – as the crowd threw abuse at us. Then they started throwing missiles: small stones, pens, sweets, anything they had to hand. The recently introduced pound coin had enough heft for it to make a perfect missile and several of these bounced off the back of my head. Of course, as policemen, we couldn’t pick them up, but I remember seeing one of the stewards doing just that, the pockets of his yellow hi-vis coat bulging with thrown money.

At the end of the match, things worsened as the fans rioted, breaking down the barriers and invading the pitch. Seats were ripped from the stands and hurled at us.

We ran away.

As the battle ensued inside the ground, a small group of us were redirected outside, to ensure the safety of the real fans as they tried to make their way home. Pockets of trouble kept appearing all over the town centre and we were run ragged as we legged it from one side to the other. Usually, by the time we got there, the troublemakers had scarpered, leaving behind a trail of broken windows and whatnot.

It was a long night. When I got back to the station I took off my coat only to see the back of it plastered with dried spittle and slimy phlegm, and I questioned myself as to whether I really wanted to be doing this job anymore.

A Life On The Ocean Waves

We went on a trip out, yesterday.

On a speedboat.

It was a lot of fun.

We visited some of the surrounding islands and did some snorkeling.  We went inland, up  river, to see a waterfall and to feed some wild monkeys which was fun.  Then we had a BBQ lunch on a small beach on one of the islands. And on the way back, we saw some dolphins.  Which was nice.

Of course, the problem with being out at sea and going snorkeling, is that despite applying copious amounts of sun cream, you are going to catch the sun.  Or rather, the sun is going to catch you!  We both have faces the colour of lobsters and my head is very sore.  The copious amounts of rum punch that they plied us with, probably didn’t help 😊

Today will be spent in the shade, as much as possible. In fact the weather forecast suggests a big storm is coming… which will be cool: I love a tropical storm!

Not Going Out

In a post, only a short while back, I mentioned how much we love going to the pictures, but also how I’ve noticed a gradual fall in attendance.

Well, we – as a family – have just contributed to that decline.

We have long been members of Cineworld’s Unlimited club, which – for a monthly sum – allowed us to visit our local cinema as many times as we wanted and, indeed, in the early days, we used to go on an almost weekly basis.

But now, as the kids have got older and their viewing tastes have changed, we found we weren’t going as often as we used to.  So long as we went at least twice a month though, our Unlimited membership was still worth the cost.

But, of course, that too has been steadily going up in price and when they announced another price hike last month, we decided that enough was enough and we cancelled our membership.

In my cancellation email, I explained how these continued price rises are making it hard for people to afford to go to the cinema nowadays and I suggested that a drop in price might actually increase cinema attendance… which would benefit all.

Sadly, I didn’t even get a reply.

Hollingdays

This post comes to you courtesy of the hotel WiFi at our resort in Mauritius .

Yes, we are on holiday.

Ten minutes by car; an hour and a half on the train; eleven hours in the air and an hour by coach, is all it took to get here.

It was somewhat inconsiderate of Mrs M to book a holiday right in the middle of the Blogathon, but there you are.

We have no plans – other than rest and relaxation and a couple of boat trips – but, if something exciting happens – like Mrs M suddenly decides to go paracending (100% unlikely to happen) – I shall post it up here… unless I melt in this 30 degree heat.

Meantime, you will just have to put up with some of the usual drivel that – in true Blue Peter fashion – I prepared earlier.

Right, I’m off to the pool bar.

TTFN

The Clock Of Life

At one of a our nerdy amateur radio rallies a couple of months back, a mate of mine bought a box of old crystals.

Of course, I am not talking about a bowl of crystals used for aligning your chakra, or shit like that, but quartz crystals that have been cut and shaped, such that they will resonate at a particular frequency when a voltage is applied to them, making them useful for making accurate oscillators for clocks and watches… and radio transmitters, of course.

My mate was bemused when he found a crystal in the box that was stamped with his date of birth… or near enough, anyway.

He also found one that had my birthday (month and year) stamped into it and he sent it to me.

And so, I made a simple oscillator with it. That’s it in the above picture.  The yellow LED is set to flash at 1.2Hz. That’s equal to 72 times a minute – the average human heart rate at rest.

It’s battery powered and I’ve added a trickle charger to it,  using two small solar panels (the black rectangles behind the battery), so, in theory, it should be able to just sit on my windowsill, flashing away almost indefinitely (well, within reason).

The idea is to see which gives up first… the crystal or my heart… bearing in mind they are the same age.

Rather like Liz Truss and the lettuce, it’s just a bit of fun.

A Hard Taskmaster? Nah.

Last weekend, Son and I made our way down to Canary Wharf and took part in the Taskmaster Live Experience.

It was this: Excellent.

It was also this:  A lot of fun.

And it was made even better by this: I actually won the bloody thing!

Yes, in our group of six players (we were in a group but all competing individually), Son and I took an early lead in the first game. We then both did absolute rubbish in the second game.  We both did well in the third and then we took the lead again in the fourth game (I don’t mind admitting that it was a pure fluke on my part, as I got the maths completely wrong and I couldn’t figure out how much a rubber duck weighed).

Obviously, I won’t go into details of what the games entailed, as that could spoil it for others, but, if you’re a fan of the show – as I am –  I’d urge you to pop along and have a go.

Even if you don’t end up a Champion (like wot I did), it’s still a lot of fun and there’s plenty to see, with lots of memorabilia from the the TV show to enjoy whilst you have a pint and a hot dog from the Taskonbury Bar.

Two Wheel Training

Today, Son has taken his Mod1 motorcycle test.
In the bloody freezing cold!

I’m pleased to say that he passed.

He has his Mod 2 later this week. Assuming he passes that – and his instructor is confident that he will – he will then have a full motorcyle licence… sort of.

To get to this stage, he had to pass his CBT (Compulsary Basic Training) first.  He did this on Saturday. This then allowed him to take his Mod 1 (Module 1), which he did today.  Passing that then allows him to go onto Mod 2 (later this week) and passing that will give him what’s known as an A2 licence.  This allows him to ride bikes with a limited horsepower.

He has to hold this licence for two years, before he can go on to apply for his full A licence, which then allows him to ride unrestricted.

This is a good thing, I think.

Back in my day (I took my test in 1979), we booked a test, passed it and then went straight out and bought the biggest, most powerful bike we could afford.  As a result, plenty of guys, unable to handle such powerful machines, or not fully understanding that a mix of youth, testosterone and high horsepower can be deadly, sadly ended up as roadkill.

The new system, though possibly infuriating to some, allows them time to get to know how a bike handles on the road and how, as a motorcyclist, you need to treat every car driver as a potential idiot who is going to pull out on you.

It would be interesting to see how much of an impact this new (well, it’s new to me) system has had on reducing the number of motorcycle accidents.

The Dog That Cries Wolf

Saber – our 8 year-old German Shepherd dog – has always had incredible hearing and still has so today.

She can hear someone walking past the house.

She can hear someone walking past the house with a dog.

She can hear a cat or a fox in the back garden.

She can hear the postman pull his van into the next road.

She can hear someone trying to break into our garage.

Problem is, all these noises that she hears, causes her to go on a barking rampage. “WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WOOF!”

And, because she does it all the time, we tend to ignore her or shout at her to shut up. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have gone to the front door because she is standing there barking her head off, only to see someone who’d had the audacity to walk past our house and is now sauntering off into the distance.
“WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WOOF!”

Which is why when someone tried to break into our garage some years ago, in the middle of the night, I told her to shut up.
“WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WOOF!”

“SABER! SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YA!”

Finding the damage to the garage door the following morning, made me resolve not to ignore her again.

But we do. Because she does it all the time.

This morning at 04:30: “WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WOOF!”

I dragged myself out of bed and looked out of the bedroom window. Nothing.  I went to the back bedroom and looked out into the garden. And there I saw it: a cat.

A cat, just slowly and silently walking along the top of the garden fence, minding his own business and causing no harm.

“WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WUH WOOF!”

The downstairs blinds are closed, so she can’t even see the cat.  How does she even know it’s there?

I know German Shepherds are very loyal and very protective, but even so…

Anyway, I suppose we feel a bit safer, knowing that should the postman try to burgle us in the middle of the night, we’ll know all about it, even if he parks in the next road… assuming I can be arsed to get up and look out of the window.

Email Overload

You know when you order something from Amazon or eBay (and many other sellers, it has to be said), you generally receive an email confirming your order.

A while later you might get another email saying that your order has been dispatched.

And when you eventually receive your order, you might get a final email confirming that it has been delivered to you.

Well, a couple of weeks back, I ordered some items from AliExpress… because they are so bloody cheap compared to the UK.

I ordered four items. If you must know:  a pack of MOSFETs; An Arduino Uno board; some blue LEDs and a multi-ganged 12-way switch.

Once I had completed the order – four items but in one order, paid with one payment – I received a confirmation email.
For each item. So I received four emails.

This was followed a short while later with another email saying “Order ready to ship”. For each item.  So, another four emails.

An hour later, yet another email: “Order shipped”.
For each item.
Four more emails.

This was followed up the next day with another four emails: “Package in transit”.

A few days later, another four: “In your country/region”.

Then: “Cleared Customs”.

“Out for delivery”.

And then finally “Delivered”.

Except, it wasn’t the final one.  Another four arrived a couple of days later: “Awaiting confirmation”.  This means they are waiting for me to go on to the website and confirm that I have received my order.  So I did.

That then generated four more emails: “How did it go?”  Basically asking me to go online and review how well the ordering process worked.   All in all, I received 40 emails regarding the four items that I ordered.

I was tempted to actually do the review, complaining that they sent too many emails.

But I thought I might have to do it four times.

 

Parking Idiots

I do my grocery shopping as early as I can on a Saturday morning: 1. To make sure I get a parking space and 2. To get there before they sell out of toasted tea cakes.

On point 1: I always try to park considerately.  If I get out of the car and find that it isn’t square in the bay or the back end is hanging over the line, I’ll get back in the car and correct it. This makes it easier for those parking next to me and allows the maximum amount of room each side for people to open their car doors without hitting mine.

Sadly though, some people just don’t seem to care about such things and will just park their car at whatever jaunty angle takes the least amount of effort.  And, if their door hits the car next to them, so be it. Can’t be helped.

Which is why I found yet another dink in my door this week, when I cleaned the car.

I’ve tried parking away from everyone else abut this still happens.

People just seem to want to park next to me, for some reason.

When I went to the National Archives a few weeks back, I parked in a retail park just a few minutes walk away, as the parking was free for up to 4 hours.  Although there were plenty of spaces available, I parked right at the far end, well away from everyone else, in a row of bays that were completely empty.

When I returned about an hour or so later, I found that someone had parked right next to me – as can be seen in the picture above (my car is the blue one).

All those empty bays and he/she chooses to park as close as possible to me.

Maybe my car is just particularly attractive.