At last, we can rejoice!

A few years ago, some ne’er-do-wells moved into the close.

Awful people.

Right from the start, they got on everybody’s nerves, by taking up all the available parking with the inordinate number of vehicles they owned.

And the really loud garden parties that went into the small hours.


On weekdays.

Who has a late-night party on a Wednesday, for fuck sake!

And then there was the drug dealing (that we all knew was happening, but which the Police were never able to prove)

And the violence (one of them ended up in gaol recently, for violent assault).

When the For Sale sign went up last year, there was a silent, but palpable excitement that buzzed round the close.

“Have you seen the sign?”

“Yes! Isn’t it great!”

But then the sign came down again and we all went into a sulk.

But then it went up again and it was followed not long after by another sign that said “SOLD”.

My God, we nearly had a street party!

But then the sign came down and we all silently cried into our beer, once more.

But, then it went up again.

This time, we didn’t get our hopes up… there’s only so much heartbreak that thirty-six people andΒ  four dogs can take.

But, they’ve gone: the house is now empty and we are all overjoyed.

Of course, new people will move in at some point and it’s always daunting getting new neighbours but, whoever moves in CANNOT be any worse.



  1. Alan

    You didn’t tell me you were moving.πŸ˜‚

    • Masher

      Yes, we’re going down to a nice little island on the south coast… to bring the house prices down a bit.

      • Alan


  2. Toffeeapple

    I wish you thoughtful and considerate new neighbours – the other sort can be Hell.

    • Masher

      Indeed, TA.

  3. Jules

    Oh! You heard I was coming! Get ready for the Whimsy on Wednesday parties!

    • Masher

      I’ve told you before, Jules: we don’t want your sort round here, with your fancy cars and your socialite lifestyles.
      We’re a quiet, bland little community.
      And all our doors look the same.

      • Jules

        Which is exactly why you need me! πŸ™‚

  4. Brennig

    Neighbours are a bit like family. You can’t choose them, they’re just here and you have to put up with them as best you can. Ours are (currently) thankfully OK. Mostly. But there are no bad ‘uns

    • Masher

      Yeah, but you should hear what they say about THEIR neighbours!

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