Category: Rants

Clean sweep

This is the broom that I use for sweeping up in the garden.

At least, it was until the dog got hold of it.

Ten years I have owned that broom.

Now look at it!

 

 

Alicia

These are my car keys.

Well, that black, oval fob thing on the left is.

Y’see, my car is one of those key-less ones. So long as the fob is somewhere within the car, I can press a button that says START/STOP on the dashboard and the engine will start.

I also have to press it to turn off the ignition at the end of the jouney.

All sounds quick and easy.

But, it’s a pain. It really is.

I’ve lost count of how many times I have got out of the car, only to realise the keys are still in there somewhere and as such, I can’t lock the doors.

When they are hanging conveniently from the steering column, it really is easy, because you turn the key anti-clockwise and pull it out of the lock. The key is then conveniently already in your hand.

But no, I have to pull up in my parking spot; press the START/STOP button to turn off the engine; get out of the car; try to lock the door without the keyfob; harumph to myself, crawl back in to the car; search through the various cubbyholes to see which one I might have put it in; run my hand along the back of the passenger seat in case it has got wedged in there; eventually find them on the floor, where they’d fallen when I’d had to brake sharply on the M40 thanks to that twat in the BMW; harumph again; back myself out of the car and then lock the door.

And this – apparently – is progress.

First World problem

I mentioned, last week, about how I do the weekly food shop on a Saturday.

Well, as personal recompense for doing this, first of all, I visit the in-store café, where I will spend 20 minutes relaxing with a cup of tea and a toasted teacake.

I know: very civilised.

It prepares me for facing the hoards of dozy, inconsiderate shoppers, as they slowly drag themselves round, getting in my way and leaving their trolley wherever it will cause me the most grief.

But, there is something that really annoys me about Sainsbury’s Café and their delicious toasted teacake.

It’s the butter.

Nothing wrong with. It’s a good quality butter.

But, when they give it to you, it has come straight from the fridge.

It’s very, very cold.

As such, it won’t spread on the teacake, without ripping it to shreds. I have to put ‘chunks’ of butter on and then wait for it to melt, by which time my toasted teacake isn’t so toasty.

It’s a terrible, terrible thing.

Who’d want to live my life, eh?

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