Cloth Ears

I arrived home from work yesterday evening and Harry said “You had a phone call earlier, from the local mental centre.

“The where?”

The local mental centre

Having very recently done a course on mental health, my mind immediately turned to that. But, I didn’t remember giving them my home phone number. “You sure it was for me”? I asked.

Yeah. They asked for you by name.”

This had me a bit flummoxed. Also, I didn’t know the town even had a ‘local mental centre’… although I’m sure it must have, somewhere.

Intrigued, I pulled up the Recent Callers list on the phone and googled the number.

And I now have an appointment booked.

At the Luton Dental Centre.


  1. Dave

    Ah! How nice to hear a good old fashioned insult. I, like most of my compatriots, will have been called cloth ears by parents and probably teachers alike as teachers were allowed to call you such things without fear of legal recourse. Of course, these insults could scar you. I baulked at being called a Nitty Nora by my Akela everytime I did something stupid, which was a lot of the time. I’d have settled for cloth ears 1000 times more.

  2. Masher

    Wasn’t Nitty Nora the slang name reserved for the nit nurse?

    • Alan

      Nitty Nora the flea explorer. I remember her from my junior school days.
      Anyway I knew you would get to the root of the mental message.

      • Masher

        Yep, I know the drill.

    • Dave

      It was. I think she just used it because she knew it and Akelas couldn’t really go round calling cubs thick twats, even in the sixties.

  3. Brennig

    You should just do the mental centre

    • Masher


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