Idiots everywhere

I was walking the dog this morning, over the meadow where we usually go for our morning stroll, when I bumped into Steve and Oscar.

Now, whilst Steve and Oscar may sound like a gay couple, it’s actually a big fella and his little yappy terrier that we occasionally run into.

We stood and chatted for a short while – strictly observing social distancing protocols, of course – and then: “I see they put up a new mast”, Steve said, nodding toward the new, shiny, 20 metre-tall mast recently put in place of the old one.  “What a monstrosity. Does it give better signals or something?”

” No”,  I said, “that’s one of them 5G masts. O2 put it up last week. Have you seen how the number of Coronavirus cases in this area has risen drastically since then?”

“Has it really?” said Steve, his face genuinely aghast.

“No, of course it fucking hasn’t”, I said, and there then followed a two minute discussion where I basically just moaned about the idiots that were setting fire to these masts a few weeks ago, because they believed that 5G radio frequencies were helping to propagate Covid-19. 

And then I got started on Eamonn Holmes, who added fuel to the fire when he stated on his morning show, that we shouldn’t rule out the possibility.  Twat.

Basically, I ranted about these idiots for several minutes; complaining about how they blindly follow any piece of fearful doctrine that someone posts on Instaface, without actually looking at the science, to see whether it’s true   

I think Steve was probably glad when we parted and continued on our canine perambulations.

But then, this afternoon, I was reading in the computer press about the 5gbioshield – a device shaped like a memory stick that would protect you from the ‘harmful’ effects of 5G and other radio frequencies by – 

“… restoring the coherence of the geometry of the atoms, which allows for a perfect induction for life forces, by recreating a cardiac coherence, via plasmic support and interactivity.”

Holy Fuckoly, Batman!  What a load of twaddle!

And the reason it’s shaped like a memory stick? Because that’s exactly what it is: a cheap memory stick from China.

But you can buy them from this website for only £283.00 (or get three for just £799!)

It seems that, where there’s a fear (unfounded or not), there’s a scam.


  1. Alan

    Wish you had written this fucking blog earlier. Just spent £283. 🤬

    • Masher

      Please see the title to this post.

  2. Dave

    I wouldn’t get caught out. I’m perfectly happy with my tin foil hat I made.

    • Masher

      Please see my response to Alan.

  3. Toffeeapple

    Ye gods and little fishes! What is wrong with people?! Go, Masher – GO!

    • Masher

      I’m like you’re very own Watchdog, TA.

  4. Brennig

    I think coming down out of the trees was a poor decision. And leaving the swamp in the first place – a very bad show.

    Hey! Let’s all riot against 5G. But we want WiFi and mobile broadband and we’ll soon have Satellite broadband…

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