When Date Night Goes Wrong

In an effort to claw back some of the quality ‘together’ time that we have lost over the years (thanks to the kids) last night, the current Mrs Masher and I locked them in a cupboard and went out to see a show.

It’s been quite a while since we went to the theatre together, and so we decided to make a night of it and booked into a hotel as well.

Rather than pay a small fortune to see a show in the West End, we instead paid a small fortune to see one in Aylesbury.

Yes: Aylesbury.

Our accommodation was at a Wetherspoons pub, which doubled up as a hotel and whilst the pub was a little bit tired and old-looking, I’m pleased to say that our room was clean, modern and comfortable.

We thought it prudent to have something to eat and drink, before we ventured over to the theatre, which was just a few minutes walk away. I went for ham, egg and chips – you can’t go wrong with that – while Mrs M opted for scampi.

The show we went to see was called The Comedy About A Bank Robbery and it was a fast-paced, gag-packed show full of slapstick.  Made by the same people that did the critically-acclaimed The Play That Goes Wrong, I was suspicious when the stage-manager walked on halfway through and declared that something had indeed gone wrong and that there would be a short hiatus whilst they sorted it out.

From our seating position – right in the middle of row F – we had an excellent view of the stage and whilst I could see some activity going on behind the set, there didn’t seem to be too much going on. After about five mins, the play resumed. I think there had been a problem with one of the props and they had to hurriedly change the way the scene played out. Of course, not knowing what was supposed to happen, it didn’t make much difference to us in the audience.

It was a fun show though and at the end, the cast all donned red noses, as it was Comic Relief night, and then fleeced another fiver out of me.

I was looking forward to getting back to the hotel at the end of the night – not just because of the adult shenanigans that were on the cards, but because I was genuinely quite tired.  Mrs M kept complaining she was really hungry and, upon sighting one of those food vans in the street, she rushed over and ordered herself a hot-dog, which she scoffed down, ravenously.

We had a couple of drinks before heading up to the room.

Mrs M lay on the bed. “I don’t feel too good” she said.

“What’s wro…”

Before I could finish, she legged it to the bathroom and barfed her dinner into the toilet.

A few minutes later she wandered back in. “You OK?”, I asked. She certainly didn’t look OK.

“No, I feel fucking awful”, she said, before turning round and heading straight back to the barfroom for another chat with Phil and Hughie on the great white telephone.

And then, a bit later, the sluice gate at the other end opened up.


And that’s how it it was for much of the night: her getting up every half-hour to go to the loo and me trying to not listen to the eruptions emanating from the bathroom.

Neither of us got much sleep… but certainly not for the reasons we’d intended.


  1. Toffeeapple

    Poor Mrs M. I hate it when that happens, I feel uncomfortable for days afterward. I guess that it was something she had eaten the day before since our systems take time to react to bad bugs.

    Glad you both enjoyed the show though.

    • Masher

      Well, I thought it was most likely the scampi – seafood is usually the culprit. Mrs M, however, reckons it was the hot-dog.

  2. Dave

    Hmm. Looks like the “have a headache” excuse doesn’t seem to have been putting you off and so she’s upped her game.

    Oh! Did you remember to get the kids out of the cupboard?

    • Masher

      Ooh, thanks for the reminder, Dave!

  3. Frances

    Oh dear…poor Mrs Masher. I hope that she is feeling better this morning? A few years ago we saw ” The Importance of being Ernest” at Aylesbury. Nigel Havers was in it. Very nice theatre .

    • Masher

      She is, thanks.
      Earnest is my favourite of Wilde’s plays! Love to have seen that.

  4. Alan

    Hopefully it was the food and not the dreaded winter barfing virus.
    Me and her got that in a hotel once. Not good.
    She best stay in bed all day and leave you to it. Get better soon Mrs M

    • Masher

      Nah, she’s fine now, thanks.
      She’s downstairs right now, cooking a roast, with 90’s Hits blaring out as loud as it’ll go.
      Left to me, we’d be having a quiet Sunday, with some Mozart followed by a McDonald’s.

  5. Jules

    That’s definitely the Wetherspoons scampi. Ewww. Poor Mrs. Masher.
    Ain’t karma a bitch…

    • Masher

      I don’t believe in karma, Jules… at least, not in this life.

    • Alan

      Certainly is a bitch. Mr M was hoping the second part of that word was sutra.

      • Dave

        Not with Masher’s back. Well, only with medical assistance standing by.

  6. Brennig

    I hope Mrs M has completely recovered now. Nobody likes some tricky sausage action.

  7. Masher

    Sausage was definitely not on the cards, as it turns out 🙁

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