From A Great Height Part1

A few years ago (well, 1985 to be precise), me and three mates decided to do a parachute jump.

It was Rob’s idea. We were seated in the cafè, one Saturday morning, when he showed us a leaflet. “I found this”, he said, excitedly. “You get to do a free parachute jump if you raise sixty quid for charity. I reckon we should do it”.

We discussed it for a while and agreed that, although it was a somewhat scary thing to do, it would give us plenty of kudos amongst our peers and would make us look cool in front of girls (none of us had a serious girlfriend at the time).

We booked a date a few months in advance and once the sponsorship forms came in, I set about collecting as much money as possible. £120 needed to be raised: 60 for the jump and the remainder to the charity… which I think was the British Heart Foundation. It didn’t take me long to collect the full amount, I mean, hell: I was going to jump out of a fucking aeroplane!

The date got nearer and then Chris suddenly announced that he wouldn’t be able to do it as – all of a sudden – he had a wedding to go to that weekend.

A few days later, Steve announced that he wouldn’t be able to make it either, because of “… a family matter”.

And finally, a week before the jump, Rob phoned me and told me that he had badly sprained an ankle.

Bastards!

I went on my own and spent a whole Saturday learning how to fall out of a plane:

“ONE THOUSAND… TWO THOUSAND… THREE THOUSAND… CHECK CANOPY!”

On Sunday, I jumped.

“ONE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH… JESUSCHRIST… CANOPY…  YAY!!”

It was the single most exhilarating thing I’d ever done.

But sadly, my daring exploits didn’t seem to impress the female population very much.

7 Comments

  1. Not surprising about the girls.
    Who wants a bloke who has just had his bollocks pulled up to his neck by a parachute harness.

  2. Aston Martins impress girls, Masher, not parachutes.

    However, I am very impressed and would like to see you on the next season of SAS Who Dares Wins. I’m prepared to sponsor you a fiver if you win.

    • Don’t think I’d have raised enough sponsorship for an Aston, Jules.

      Hereford wouldn’t have me back… not after last time.

  3. On the one hand, that’s very impressive. And very commendable because BHF is (now) my favoured charitable cause.

    On the other hand WHY THE FECK WOULD YOU WANT TO JUMP OUT OF A PERFECTLY SERVICEABLE AIRCRAFT? ARE YOU MAD?

    But bloody well done.

  4. Very well done, I would have been impressed!

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