You’re The One That I Want

I was listening to one of my comedy podcasts as I drove to work this morning – I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue, if you must know.

In this particular episode, Tim Brooke-Taylor was tasked with singing part of Greased Lightning – from the 1978 film Grease – without any musical accompaniment.

In typical TB-T fashion, he adopted a shrill voice and launched himself into it.

And then, he sang these lines:

With a four-speed on the floor, they’ll be waiting at the door
You know that ain’t no shit, we’ll be getting lots of tit
in Greased Lightning…

I’m sorry Tim, did you just say ‘shit’ and ‘tit’? 

I assumed at first that he’d said it for comedic value, but that didn’t seem right and so when I got to work, I Googled the lyrics.

OMG! Those are the actual lyrics! This song is nearly forty years old; I’ve heard it a zillion times; I’ve danced to it at many a party and yet I’d never heard those filthy lyrics.

But, it goes on:

With new boosters, plates and shocks 
I can get off my rocks
You know that I ain’t braggin’, she’s a real pussy wagon
Greased Lightning

‘Pussy Wagon’?  Really?

But there’s more:

You are supreme
The chicks’ll cream
For Greased Lightning

Whoa! John Travolta is now singing about ladies getting so excited, that they are making a mess in their underwear! Jeez!!

Quite how they managed to sneak those lyrics past the American censors – whom I thought were pretty strict back in the seventies – on a film rated at PG-13, I just don’t know.

But, based on that,  I’m off to check the lyrics on some of the other songs that featured in the film.

There’s bound to be a line somewhere in Hopelessly Devoted, where Olivia Newton John sings about taking it up the council gritter.


  1. Frances

    Good grief ! Heard it many times but never really listened to the words…..are you sure you haven’t misheard? Did the lovely Tim make it up?

    • Masher

      Nope, thems is definitely the words, Francis.
      You can check it out yourself by clicking on the link at the top of the post.

  2. Frances

    Ps. We went to a recording of the show a few years ago at the Alban Arena….great fun!

    • Masher

      You have me most jealous!
      The only live stuff I’ve seen them do was a short 15 minute show, along with several other acts, in honour of the late , great, comedienne Linda Smith.
      That was years ago, when Humph was still around.

  3. Brennig

    Hopelessly devoted to poo?

    • Masher

      I would say Boom-tish!

      But I can’t.

  4. Toffeeapple

    Ye gods! I live and learn…

    • Masher

      We all do, TA, we all do.

  5. Jules

    Taking it up the council gritter! Hahahahaha! You are priceless!

    • Masher

      I am.
      And for everything else, there’s Mastercard.

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