Category: Misc (page 1 of 2)

Hi honey… I’m home!

Jeez, they really know how to do hot, down in the south of France!

I’m back in blighty now, where it is pissing down with rain, as I write this.

However, we had a good time – as always – but I won’t bore you with the details.

And I’m particularly pleased with this picture that I managed to take from seat 16F on our Airbus 320-200


Now, see these sandals on my feet? Well, I am being constantly moaned at that they are not fashionable enough and that I should get a new pair.

But I have no intention of doing so: plenty of life left in them, I reckon.

Flip flops are the thing, apparently. But I’ve never liked ’em. Don’t like that bit that goes between your toes.

Or the noise that they make as you walk: flip flop, flip flop, flip flop… Gets on my nerves.

Mrs Masher put hers on the wrong feet once, and they went: flop flip, flop flip, flop flip…

True story.

But, it got me thinking. Y’see, I bought those sandals to take on our honeymoon.

Twenty-four years ago.

As you know, I like to get my money’s worth.

But, it occurred to me that my Clarks’ sandals – being nearly a quarter century old – must be pretty well travelled by now.

And so, with nothing better to do, I sat under the air-conditioning unit and worked out in which countries they had been worn.

In no particular order:

England; France; Spain; Italy; Jamaica; Kenya; Venezuela; Brazil; Portugal; Cozumel; Kos; Canary Islands (Fuerteventura, Lanzarote and Gran Canaria); Singapore; Bali; St Lucia; Malaysia; Thailand and Grand Cayman.

Not bad, eh?

And so, unless anyone can better that, I am declaring my sandals to be the Judith Chalmers of footwear.

Buzby’s book

This came through the door the other day.

Look at it: pathetic!

Those of you of a certain age – that’s my entire readership, then… yes, both of you – will remember when the phone book was such an epic tome, that it wouldn’t actually fit through the letterbox. And the ‘… good ol’ Yellow Pages’ wasn’t much smaller.

I can remember seeing Geoff Capes on Nationwide (I think), showing just how strong he was by making a Herculean effort to tear a phone book in half.

This latest edition is a combination of both the residential phone book  AND local businesses. Those two books stacked on top of one another would have been about two and a half inches thick! This new one is exactly one quarter inch. I doubt that Geoff would have much of a problem with that. In fact, I reckon even I could probably tear that in half with just my bare hands.

In fact…

*Five minutes later*






(actually, that was bloody hard!)


I had to smile this morning, when I received an email from Sony: their regular newsletter detailing all their latest offerings, designed to tempt me to part with my hard-earned. Pictures of their latest TVs; Home Cinema systems; Speakers; Headphones; Cameras and Smartphones. It was this last item that made me smile… or rather, wince.


Introducing the 21:9 Experience – with a wide screen, borderless design, you can multi-task with ease and enjoy films on your smartphone the way they were meant to be seen.

“… enjoy films on your smartphone, the way they were meant to be seen.”

Meant to be seen?

On a tiny, likkle 6.5 inch smartphone screen, rather than on a bloody great ginormous screen at the cinema?

I don’t think so, somehow, Sony.


But, I also had to smile yesterday, when I found myself following a little silver Corsa up the M1, during my morning commute. As we were stationary for quite a while – as is always the case with the M1 on a weekday morning – I was able to read what was written on the back of the car.

It’s a wonder how pepole find time to hate, when life is too short to love

This wasn’t scribbled on a piece of card and placed on the parcel shelf; it was (or at least, looked like it had been) done professionally.

If you are going to pay a professional to sign-write your car with rubbish sayings, you’d like to think they could spell!






These boots were made for walking

Having a mutt, means I do a lot of walking.

Which is good, as I need something to persuade me to get my fat backside out of the chair, sometimes.

Problem is, ‘walkies’ is something that has to be done daily.

Twice daily.

Whatever the weather.

As such, I have proper outdoor clothing… bought from proper outdoor clothing shops.

I got myself a new pair of leather walking boots last year. They are a good make and seem to be well made.

They weren’t that cheap, either.

A little tab on the laces says “Waterproof” and I wondered how that could be if stitching is involved, so I asked the shop assistant if they really were waterproof.

“Yes”, he said, “… they are. To a degree.”

Well, he was right, because I took the dog out earlier and after about an hour, my feet were soaked.

Soaked to a hell of a degree.

It’s not like I’m wading through streams or anything, just walking in longish grass.

This is the third pair of walking boots that I’ve owned, which were supposedly waterproof… but actually weren’t.

How can they be tagged as being waterproof, when they clearly aren’t? There must be some sort of trading law that’s being broken here, surely?

Anyway, if the wet weather continues, I may have to dig out my Farmer Giles’ welly boots.

I hate wellies.

Shopping Trip

On Saturday I went to the Motorcycle Show at the NEC in Birmingham.

And I spent £45,000.





In actuality, I spent just 8 quid.

On a cheeseburger!


But, jeez, there are some bloody  nice bikes out there.

Not that I  need a new bike: my one goes well; it looks nice and I enjoy riding it.

But ‘need’ is different to ‘want’.

And right now, having had my appetite whetted, I sooooo want a new ride.

That one at the top will do nicely, thank you.

Ah ha!

There’s been a lot of good stuff on the telly over the years.

Of course, there’s also been a hell of a lot of dross.

And sometimes, the good stuff can get lost in the dross.

And sometimes, even when I’ve heard good reviews of programmes, I find that I just don’t get round to watching them.

It was like that with The Office: heard so much about it, but somehow just never bothered.

Until I was working up in Glasgow for several months and found myself desperately searching for box sets to watch in my free time. A friend lent me a DVD of Gervais’ mockumentary series and I was hooked.

Likewise, I was searching through Netflix the other day, trying to find some half-hour comedy programmes to watch, when I found the section entitled “Critically Acclaimed Witty British and European Comedies”.  Or something like that. And there, nestled in amongst the likes of Black Adder and Fawlty Towers was “I’m Alan Partridge”.

Made eleven years ago, how had I missed this particular gem? It’s just brilliant! And Steve Coogan is a bloody genius.

I know there’s plenty of other stuff out there that I’ve missed, so if either of you have any suggestions…

It’s not the winning…

… but the taking part, that matters.

That’s right, isn’t it?


Well, Summer seems to have arrived properly now, which means the grass needs to be cut far more regularly.

I hate gardening in general, so will only do the bare minimum to keep it looking tidy.

However, that bare minimum suddenly became a lot easier, last year, when I decided to get a petrol driven lawnmower. Not having to drag extension leads around the garden and not having to worry about accidentally running over the cord and cutting it (which I have done several times, in the past), makes the chore of mowing the lawn, that bit more agreeable.

In fact, so impressed was I with this (should have got one years ago), that I also went out and bought a cordless strimmer and a cordless hedge trimmer, both of which have proved to be a boon.

Now, if I can just find a cordless, dog-proof, garden broom…

Vroom vroom

This is a picture of my bike, taken earlier today.

Just after we returned from the nail-biting ordeal that is the annual MOT.

I’m pleased to say that she passed with flying colours – although we did pick up an advisory warning for the tread on the front tyre being close to the mark.

Which it was, so I have asked them to order a nice new one.

I was a little bit apprehensive about the exhausts though, as I fitted new, louder ones a little while back.

Much louder.

I need not have worried: “She sounds nice” said the MOT inspector.

Indeed she does.


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