I was awoken at 4am this morning, by the current Mrs M climbing back into the marital bed.

I asked where she had been and she explained that she couldn’t sleep and so had been downstairs catching up on the last several episodes of Silent Witness.

“Sorry that I woke you”, she said.

“Wo’evverrr”, I muttered, sleepily.

“But, as you’re awake… Pinch Punch, First Of The Month!” she said, gleefully jabbing me in the arm.

“Not fair! I exclaimed. “I’m not properly awake yet.”

Pinchy Punchy is something we have done for years and it has become quite competitive between the two of us and has reached the point we we even employ dirty tricks like pretending to be asleep – you can’t be pinchy punched when you’re comatose… it’s one of the rules.

We haven’t kept count, but there’s no doubt that Mrs Masher is well ahead.

Sneaky cow.

Anyway, as I have been reminded twice now, it is indeed the first day of February, which can mean only one thing: the entire internet goes into meltdown, as two of us  – I am assuming (nay, hoping) the other one will be joining in – tackle this year’s Masher’s Blog-A-Thon.

Drivel, nonsense, twaddle, gibberish and tripe will be spoon-fed to you both on a daily basis, all washed down with a big glass of poppycock (yes, I’ve been at the thesaurus again).

Brace yourselves.