The current Mrs. Masher has buggered off to Dubai for a holiday.
She has taken our daughter with her, leaving me to fend for myself, our son, the dog and two guinea pigs for the next couple of weeks.
It’ll be fine.
I’ve been instructed on which two settings to select, from the thousand or so that are available on the washing machine.
And I’ve been told which family members have birthdays this month and will therefore require an over-priced piece of card to be sent to them.
I’ve also been told to make sure we eat properly.
Not a problem.
I’l admit that cooking isn’t something I enjoy doing and it certainly isn’t a forté of mine but, I know the basics.
I can remove cardboard sleeves and pierce film lids with little or no problem.
In fact, I already have all the dinners planned for the forthcoming week:
Friday – Fish and chips – 5 mins up the road
Saturday – Pizza – 12 mins in the oven
Sunday – Toby Carvery – 25 mins up the road
Monday – Sainsbury’s Lasagne – 50 mins in the oven
Tuesday – McDonalds – 5 mins up the road
Wednesday – Pasta and meatballs – 15 mins on the hob
Thursday – Jumbo burger and chips at our local pub, ten mins walk away
And repeat.
I’ve ordered Bear Grylls’ Survival Handbook from Amazon, just in case, but you know what, I think we’ll be alright.
Very exciting menu Mark.
Of course! I do have four Michelin stars, you know.
No, hold on, it’s Michelin tyres… I have four Michelin tyres.
Your son will enjoy that menu! What does the dog get?
The dog will get her usual fare, Frances, as that gets delivered to the door each month.
Nice and simple.
Like me.
I absolutely bloody love your menu. You show great imagination and creativity and for these things alone you are to be lauded. While the good lady wife her indoors was recently hospitalised the dogs and I treated ourselves to a McDonalds. Just the one. It made a pleasant change
A McChange is as good as a rest.