Dear Art World.
I have sellotaped five blueberries to a piece of card.
I call this piece “Man’s Existential Struggle With The Human Condition”.
I am asking for just £4.5m (£5.5m if you’d like it in a frame).
Thank you.
Month: November 2024
The World Has Gone Mad
Nuts
Last night, I attended a webinar – a seminar carried out online.
Our local doctor’s surgery often do these and I regularly receive texts inviting me to attend. The topics vary, but mainly tend to be around mental health and wellbeing. As I have no issues in that area, I usually just discard the text.
But, my phone beeped with an invite the other day, inviting me to attend a discussion on Prostate Awareness.
Now, I’ve got one of those and whilst it isn’t giving me any problems – that I’ve noticed – I am of an age where these pesky, walnut-sized glands can start to cause some grief. So, I thought maybe I should give this one a go.
The event was quite well attended, with about 25 to 30 men on there, all of a similar age to myself, by the looks of it (I actually turned my camera off, as this event lasted over an hour and fell right in the middle of dinnertime – I reasoned that nobody wanted to watch me chow down on a Southern Fried Chicken Burger and Chips, whilst they were talking about this particular part of their reproductive system).
But the event itself was actually pretty good. I came away at the end of it with a better understanding of what this paticular part of the male anatomy does and the issues it can cause.
The big takeaway for me was that some research suggests that there may be a potential prostate health benefit, by eating Brazil Nuts. OK, all a bit wishy-washy, but with Christmas just around the corner, I think that’s as good an excuse to stock up on chocolate covered Brazils as any.
But, shall I tell you my main bugbear about this particular little gland – aside from the fact that it can cause all sorts of problems… including death?
It’s when people pronounce it wrong and call it the prostrate gland.
I don’t know why, but that annoys me so much.
And I’m not going to take it lying down.
Gladd All Over
Last year, we had Barbenheimer – watching a low-brow, humourous film in the same week as a high-brow, serious film – in that case, Barbie and Oppenheimer.
This weekend, me and the missus did Gladdington.
I’m sure you can work out the two films involved.
We enjoyed them both, though I felt Ridley Scott’s epic stretched incredulity somewhat.
Whereas, a talking bear…
Anyway, yesterday, myself, Son and a couple of mates headed up to the NEC in Birmingham for our annual trip to the Motorcycle Live Show.
It was all rather fab, with so much to see and do… and eat.
A small highlight was the Isle of Man simulator, which gave us a taste of what it’s like to blat around the TT course on two wheels at stupid speeds. Now that’s out of my system, I have no need to actually go and do it (because that was really going to happen, wasn’t it?).
I also came away with a couple of carrier bags’ worth of merchandising, that I probably shouldn’t have been spending my hard-earned (cough) dosh on.
But that’s the thing with these shows: you just don’t know that you need a pair of overpriced, corrective boot insoles, until you see them.
Cinema
The current Mrs Masher and I went to the pictures at the weekend, to see Heretic, starring Hugh Grant.
I’m not a fan of the horror genre and this film sort of fell into that category, but… it was alright. I quite enjoyed it, actually.
But this post isn’t about the film itself. Rather, I wanted to comment on the lack of people in the cinema with us. It was a Friday night and the place was half empty.
Or half full.
It was the same last weekend, when Son and I went to see Venom – Marvel’s latest cinematic blockbuster – and so we saw it in the IMAX.
This particular screen, I reckon, was probably only about a quarter full.
Or, three-quarters empty.
Whichever way you want to look at it.
I know that cinema has never fully recovered from the Covid lockdown, but the numbers of people willing to go to the trouble of travelling to a picturehouse nowadays is dwindling and if it continues in this direction, then the industry will become unsustainable. Following the great plague, so many cinemas closed down that many people now have to travel out of town in order to see the latest popcorn-frenzy inducing blockbuster, and plenty just can’t be bothered: “I’ll wait till it comes out on Netflix” is becoming the norm now, I think.
My family have always enjoyed going to the ‘flicks’ and, for us, a trip to see the latest visual feast is quite commonplace. But, I can honestly say that I can’t think of anyone else within our extended family – or within our circle of friends – who still visit the cinema on a regular – or even semi-regular – basis.
Part of this is down to the hassle of – as I say – having to travel out of town, but I think a more likely reason is cost… it’s just so bloody expensive now.
As an example, in the cinema we go to (out of town) an adult ticket for a standard screening is now £14 … yes, fourteen quid! Going into the IMAX will set you back a whopping twenty-one pounds. And children’s tickets are only 50p cheaper, so, going as a family can work out stupidly expensive.
Now, I’m no economist (far from it) and I understand how with less attendance, they have been forced to put the prices up, but, surely, wouldn’t it be better to reduce ticket prices and attract more people into the cinema, than to continually put prices up and drive people away?
A full cinema with tickets sold at £9 has got to be more profitable than a half-full one with tickets at £14.
Hasn’t it?